Plan to implement feedback

OVERALL -

• The basic idea comes through in both videos, that life has not turned out the way this person planned when they were a little girl, and that they are disappointed in themselves as adults.
• From a narrative perspective, the title seems ironic. Where, in this video, are all the other people? :D (Seriously, though, there's not even a little boy even though there's a male lead in the vocals.)
• The cemetery shots make me confused.
• I think more risks could be taken with purposeful attention to colour, whether as a motif or a storytelling device for particular shots. Example: the memory shots could all have a sepia mask. This is a classic convention for memory sequences, so feel free to subvert.
• Think about what the song is trying to communicate, then watch your video with the sound off and ask yourself if the message still comes through.

KAYLA - 12/15

Opening shot is very cool. How did you get that?

Blending of memory, present-day, and performance sequences is handled well, from a narrative perspective. Nice transitions.

Re: the cemetery shots - did the male lead die in a car wreck? Is that the story we're going for here? (Sorry, I just don't get the grave shot.)

Song's climax has some cool cuts, but then the cut you end on doesn't visually match the lip movement of the acting talent. If it were me, I'd use a shot of the female lead's sustained note.

Opening shot is very cool BUT, the overarching 'road' sequence is lost because the opening shot is strong daylight, and then all the car shots and the ending shot shows a road at night. Needed to have shots that transition the lighting, or have the opening shot be a night-time shot

My Response: 

After having read this I will now take out my opening shot and try to replace it with a more relatable video that matches the rest of our video i.e. a video we shot ourselves. We may try and get extra 'cut-away' footage in order to replace the scenes that don't make sense.

 

This is an example of the type of shot we may want to get and redo because it relates to the scenes where our female and male characters are walking down the road together. Instead, this shot will be in the light so it correlates with the sunny images we see of our lead as a young girl. 

Our cemetery shots apparently don't make sense so for this we may have to redo those shots and have her sitting in black clothing in front of the grave then later on seen walking away from the grave in the daytime with a white dress. This is to represent the happiness or joy she now feels as she goes on/ moves past this hurdle. 

We will add a purple hue through colour grading in order to match the rest of our scenes and mimick the stage shots just to tie everything together.

In order to try and get everything to make a bit more sense, we might get a few more cut-away shots to fill in the missing pages/blank spaces. Right now our feedback is saying that it lacks clarity so hopefully by putting in a shot of for example a shot of our main female character holding a photo looking down at her mum to signify that she is looking back and that the um isn't here anymore. 

I was happy with my feedback, there were a few things that may need tweaking for example the opening shot has to be of our video which I will take out and replace. I think the main message I got from it was that we need to make our video clearer with how the mum is now dead and that she is reminiscing on the good times when her mum was around. Hopefully, this will come across to the audience and the grave shots will now make more sense. Depending on the rest of the group we will try and do our make-up shots next week possibly all during the same day so it doesn't drag out.